The Greatest Homework Excuse Ever!

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Ok, yesterday I made reference to the greatest homework excuse I ever heard – in my life. I was not exaggerating when I made this comment; I have been teaching for a long time and I have heard some really good excuses.

But the excuse that takes first prize is the one I heard from a classmate when I was in the fourth grade. His name has long ago been lost in the far lost corners of my mind, but I remember the story he told like I heard it just yesterday, rather than 47 years ago. In my mind’s eye, I can still see this young lad standing before the teacher explaining why he could not turn in his homework assignment.

“Did you do it?” the teacher asked.

“Yes, ma’am, I did.”

“Well, where is it?”

“Uh, well, um, uh, ohh…” Little beads of sweat began popping out on his forehead. “I don’t have it.”

“Why not,” she asked.

“Well, see, uhm, I was doing my homework in the backseat of my dad’s car… He has a convertible. And he was taking my mom and me over to St. Petersburg. And we were going across the Howard Franklin Bridge. And, uhm, we were right in the middle of the bridge. And there was this guy fishing on the bridge. And he went to cast his hook out. Just as we were passing by. And his hook came into the back seat of my dad’s car. And it snatched my homework. And then he cast my homework out into the bay. And a big fish came up and swallowed it.”

Everyone in the classroom cracked up! There was laughing and guffawing from all corners. I remember looking at the teacher, who had to maintain her professional composure. It was the first time I saw an adult biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud. She could not, however, control the laughter in her eyes. The poor student was embarrassed beyond description.

I swear to you, this story happened exactly as I wrote it. Today, I am sure he has become a best-selling author – with an imagination like that, what else could have happened to this kid?

Or maybe he became a professional fisherman?
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